Dear Isa

Dear Isa,

My girl. You are my complicated one, my passionate one, the one that feels everything deep down in her bones. At one point during my pregnancy with you, the doctor thought you had stopped growing. She was concerned that you weren't getting enough amniotic fluid and she told me to rest. But then you grew. In the first month of your life the doctor realized you were not thriving. You needed more food; so we added formula into your diet and you grew. Up until you turned four months old you had Colic. You would scream and cry and your dad and I didn't know what to do. We felt helpless and exhausted. But then, just like that, you grew and the Colic went away.

Since before you were even born, you have been fighting to grow, to get even bigger. It's like you knew and still do know what you want. At the age of six, you have already grown into this phenomenal girl, a girl who is so ridiculously confident in who she is.

And I have embraced it. This idea of you getting older, bigger, stronger, smarter. People always ask me if I miss the baby phase with you, and my answer is always the same; no. Not because I don't like remembering you as a sweet little baby in my arms, but because your growth excites me. I love watching you discover what you love and what you are good at. Your curiosity and intelligence are a force to be reckoned with.

And yet, my sweet girl, you are also the child I struggle with the most. When you push on me, you push hard. You yell and you stomp with such stubbornness and gal. Sometimes I find myself yelling right back, jumping into a fight without remembering that I am the adult in this. And at the same time, you are so gentle, so sensitive. When you feel like you have hurt someone you break down. You are immediately sorry, embarrassed that you let it happen. I have never known such an empathetic soul.

Fierce and gentle, stubborn and sensitive. You, my girl are all of these things. You are the daughter I never expected but always knew I'd have. Your existence breathes life into my body and for that I will forever be thankful to you, grateful that you grew in my womb and continue to grow outside of it.

Love, forever, your Mama.