In Which I Write About Valentines Day and Why I Love my Husband

I love James Carl Kitchin.

I have since I was 22, really 19 if we're being honest, although I totally tried to play it cool Sophomore year of college and act like he was just some weird guy with long hair.

In reality I thought about that long hair quite a bit.

I've liked a lot of boys in my life, but only loved one.

I realize how cheesy that sounds.

But I mean it and here's what I've learned about love through the journey of loving my husband.

1. Love is not pretty; it's beautiful.

The difference between those two words is something we've really worked on distinguishing for our daughter lately. We tell her that pretty means on the outside it looks good. It's easy on the eyes. We like to put pretty things on the shelf, in a frame, in lingerie, in magazines, on TV, etc.

But beautiful is something much deeper. It's located in the depths of one's heart and shows up in hugs, kind words, selflessness, bringing food to a new mother, sitting with the lonely kid at lunch, picking up a mess that's not your own.

So, like I said, love is not pretty; it's beautiful.

2. Love is a constant choice.

Everyday James and I wake up groggy, with nasty breath, bed head and sleep in our eyes. We make the decision to say good morning, even though what we're really thinking is... can't you just get up with the kids today? The first person up chooses to make coffee and breakfast for the other person even though all they want to do is curl up on the couch with a good book while the kids watch endless episodes of Mickey Mouse Club House on the ipad.

James chooses to drive us home from work everyday even though he would rather sit and rest in the passenger seat because he knows driving in this city stresses me out.

I choose to do his laundry, fold his clothes and put them away because I know he's crazy busy with work, grading and grad school applications.

Love is a ridiculously large amount of tiny choices every single day.

3. Love is awesome.

Committing to someone and choosing to love them everyday breeds the most awesome outcomes. Like a person who knows just the right times to hold you hand. Or a person who knows when to stay quiet, or speak up. A person who will defend you and love you even when you're 9 months pregnant and the hormones are turning you into a crazy person.

4. Love makes you better.

So, so, so much better. You become more patient, more kind, more thoughtful and so much more good. You grow and turn into this person who is better with people, better with frustration, better with hard times, good times. All of it. Like, exponentially better.

And in conclusion, that is why I love James Carl Kitchin.